If I had to touch Ainsley, I would. If I didn't have to, I would. If I had to pay to touch Ainsley, I would. If I had to hoover the garden to touch Ainsley, I would. If Ainsley were to touch me... Well, I'd be the most aroused I've ever been.

Ainsley likes to be the centre of attention. We like to be the centre of Ainsley.

Ainsley's new takeaway service was really taking off in his Hot Ainsley Balloon.

We don't like Ainsley any more. Not since he didn't come round when I invited him for tea and crumpets. Ainsley... how can w stay mad at you?

Hello Ainsley.

Our dream.

I like your fork, Ainsley. Can I touch it?